It hurts, but not enough to break me.

I've quite recently come to the realization that it is a complete waste of my time to try to convince people to be friends with me. I've done it pretty much the past 27 years, and I'm done. I don't need friends whose friendships with me are conditional upon what I do or don't do or believe or know, or who I do or don't associate with. I'll admit, it hurt me when a recently former friend decided to shun me because of my association with people that she hates. I didn't understand it at first. After all, what had I done to her? Then when we were in the same elevator and she refused to acknowledge my existence, things started clicking. I finally understood. This isn't a temporary thing, it's an end of a friendship of convenience.
Let's be honest, I should have seen it coming from the beginning. A leopard can't change its spots, right? It's a very difficult, if not impossible, feat to please any given person at any given time, so to attempt it every time you're in that person's presence, it becomes exhausting. And there are people in this world that will drain all they can from you and enjoy it all the way. These are the same kinds of people that will hold a grudge over the most trivial thing for as long as they can...forever, if possible.
Believe me, I knew that this former friend held these characteristics. Maybe subconsciously I knew that my friendships with these people that she hated would bring out these characteristics and her "wrath" in full force. Maybe I was the one that decided to test her friendship with me, to see if she really was a friend or if it just happened to be convenient for her. I guess the point is, she failed the test. And maybe I did, too. But I've sure learned my lesson. Has she?
I don't know if she'll ever see this. Probably not. If she does, I'm sorry that my friendship was no longer worth her time. I'm sorry that her expectations were so far from who I am that a lasting friendship between her and me would have been impossible. But it's her loss, not mine. I'm okay with it, and I hope that she's okay with it, as well.
So what exactly have I learned from this experience?
1. You shouldn't have to work to get someone to like you or to accept you. If they do, that's great. If not, was it really worth it to begin with?
2. Be yourself and know yourself. If you can't do that, does anyone else really know you? And do they really like you for you or for who you're pretending to be?
3. If someone's friendship is conditional, it's not a friendship, it's a convenience.
4. If the reason your friendship fails is weak and thin, it was doomed from the beginning, and there's nothing you could have or should have done to salvage it. And that's okay. We learn from our mistakes.
5. Who cares if someone likes you or not? If they don't want what you have to offer, someone will, maybe you just haven't met them yet.
That's really all I have to say on that subject. I've probably beat it to death, anyway. I just think that sometimes it helps to hash out your frustrations in some way other than just inside your head. The end.
In other news, if I stop being such a lazy bum, I'm planning on writing a few more blogs in the near future, including, but not limited to, some of the things I've been up to lately, like my two trips to St. George this summer, my job, and my current creative endeavor. Stay tuned!